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It hit me today.  The heaviness.  I didn’t have an appetite, so I forced myself to choke down some plain Cheerios and a banana.  I pulled on my leggings and a hoodie and went outside for a walk.  That’s all the energy I had for today.  But at least I was able to feel something…. like the cool wind on my face and hair and the crunch of leaves under my feet.  And I could see a little bee swirling around an orange rose, clover spreading across lawns, and big puffy dandelion seed-feathers floating in the air.  I tried to catch one but it floated above my reach.  The distant smell of cooking winded its way to my nose.  Things like this keep me feeling alive.

It’s been 2 weeks since my brother-in-law Wesley passed away.  Our family is still reeling.  I thought I was okay, but I’m not.  Not yet.  It’ll take some time.

 This has always been the time of year that I turn inward.  I focus my energy on art and creating in the quiet beginning of a new year.  Weeks ago, I had signed up for an art journal workshop. I didn’t know at the time just how much I’d need it.  Art has a way of healing; it’s been a bright spot during a dark time.
It’s called “Journey Within.”  I chose to keep my cover plain, and my ribbon simple and elegant, at least for my first one.  It’s a start.IMG_0305
The first “prompt” was inspired by the conversation our teacher Kiala had with artist Vivienne Mcmaster about going on a “photo walk”.  I took a walk alright…right outside in my backyard. 😉 PicMonkey Collage
I printed out the photos from said walk and made them into a collage in my journal.
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The second prompt was all about seeds with artist Kelly Johnson.  I chose daisy seeds and painted a design and lettering from a pretty quote.
It whetted my palate for watercolor again.
I must admit, I can feel a laser beam of light trying to prick it’s way through my thick shell.  Well it’s trying anyway.  :-/

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